years

How is it that I can feel so old and yet so young at the same time?

I feel like my life is flying by and I'm only catching snapshots of the blurred footage. I miss being a kid. I subconsciously dodge responsibilities I'm fully capable of handling because in my heart, I'd much rather live like the lost boys in Peter Pan than take my proper place in what they call the "real world".... Yet then it comes time to fill out another online form for something like this and I scroll down to the bar titled date of birth. And there they are. Those four little numbers, 1989. Tucked right where they should be between 1988 and 1990. And that's when it hits me in the face like a bellyflop from a second story rooftop. This thing called perspective. I select my proper year and move on to the next section of the form. But all I can think about is all those numbers listed after mine. Comparatively, my little date of birth was at the top of the list. As I looked I felt like I had my whole life ahead of me. (sure, most people get that feeling when the graduate high school. I get it from filling out a internet forms) Yet as each day goes by I feel them flying ever faster. The feelings really ought to be conflicting. Yet here they both reside in the corners of my mind that sometimes only blogging reaches.

just a thought
-jess