how is it that one little thing can make your day go so wrong? I'm not talking about just being an easy antagonist or letting a bad hair day get the best of you. I mean those days when something just sets you off into your own world of thought. that last short straw of human cruelty or injustice that brings back each regret hiding in the back of your mind. what is it about those moments that can make you feel so alone?
...It was really nothing. I got rudely cut off in class by a teacher. A few sypathetic "ouch" glances back from fellow students and it was over. It wasn't the incident, but rather what happened after I think that affected me most. I walked out of class expecting to see the same people I see every tuesday/thursday in the very same place. I would subtly vent and they would provide the friendly consolation and validate my hurt feelings.... cause that's how it's supposed to go down right? except there was no one there. no one at all. not a single familiar face. not even an accquantance. so there I was left alone with my thoughts in a crowded courtyard. eventually making my way across to the language lab, to be left alone with my thoughts and blogger. so many conclusions yet to be typed. but I'm going to be late for class.....
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
I wish
like deja vu in reverse
I wish I could just look back from where I'll be
and this worry would only be a memory
the kind that lets you laugh in the face of what you feared
I wish I could just look back from where I'll be
and this worry would only be a memory
the kind that lets you laugh in the face of what you feared
years
How is it that I can feel so old and yet so young at the same time?
I feel like my life is flying by and I'm only catching snapshots of the blurred footage. I miss being a kid. I subconsciously dodge responsibilities I'm fully capable of handling because in my heart, I'd much rather live like the lost boys in Peter Pan than take my proper place in what they call the "real world".... Yet then it comes time to fill out another online form for something like this and I scroll down to the bar titled date of birth. And there they are. Those four little numbers, 1989. Tucked right where they should be between 1988 and 1990. And that's when it hits me in the face like a bellyflop from a second story rooftop. This thing called perspective. I select my proper year and move on to the next section of the form. But all I can think about is all those numbers listed after mine. Comparatively, my little date of birth was at the top of the list. As I looked I felt like I had my whole life ahead of me. (sure, most people get that feeling when the graduate high school. I get it from filling out a internet forms) Yet as each day goes by I feel them flying ever faster. The feelings really ought to be conflicting. Yet here they both reside in the corners of my mind that sometimes only blogging reaches.
just a thought
-jess
I feel like my life is flying by and I'm only catching snapshots of the blurred footage. I miss being a kid. I subconsciously dodge responsibilities I'm fully capable of handling because in my heart, I'd much rather live like the lost boys in Peter Pan than take my proper place in what they call the "real world".... Yet then it comes time to fill out another online form for something like this and I scroll down to the bar titled date of birth. And there they are. Those four little numbers, 1989. Tucked right where they should be between 1988 and 1990. And that's when it hits me in the face like a bellyflop from a second story rooftop. This thing called perspective. I select my proper year and move on to the next section of the form. But all I can think about is all those numbers listed after mine. Comparatively, my little date of birth was at the top of the list. As I looked I felt like I had my whole life ahead of me. (sure, most people get that feeling when the graduate high school. I get it from filling out a internet forms) Yet as each day goes by I feel them flying ever faster. The feelings really ought to be conflicting. Yet here they both reside in the corners of my mind that sometimes only blogging reaches.
just a thought
-jess
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